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Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Raccoon Christmas

     Let's talk about Christmas... sorta'.  I like Christmas.  Its actually my favorite holiday of the year.  I couln't tell you why, exactly; I jus' love it.  All the lights an' decorations an' it seems like people really are kinder at that time of year.  Actually, I'm drifting from what I wanted to share with you, though.  So, I'd best get back on track, eh?

     It was Christmas, a season of goodwill.  By some fortunate mistake, I was given Christmas Eve off from work.  Normally, since the shift started at midnight and was considered to be Christmas Day, I would have had to work.  However, by some stroke of luck, I got to be home for Christmas Eve, which was really Christmas Morning.  Was I excited?  You bet your sweet bippy!  It had been several years since I'd been able to be home on Christmas Eve.  I would be going back to work at midnight, but for a little while, at least, I was home for Christmas.

     We chose to open our gifts and share in the traditions that were personal to our family.  Two of my older children had received Banana Chairs as gifts and were thrilled beyond belief.  Those Banana Chairs play a very important part in this story.  After opening alla' the gifts an' enjoying a rare holiday together, everyone else decided to go to bed.  However, because I worked the night shift, it was more my habit to go to bed much later.

     I puttered around, appreciating the fact that I had been given this time off and, eventually, I did grow tired an' decided to go to bed.  That's when Christmas changed completely.

     We had light switches on opposite walls.  I was near the kitchen and flipped the switch to turn the light off.  If things had ended there, I woulda' been fine, but they din't.  I walked the clear path towards the bedroom suddenly realizing that I had not checked the front door to make sure it was locked.  Naturally, I turned to correct that error and that was my undoing on accounta' I din't turn the light back on.  Bad mistake.

     Not recalling that we now had Banana Chairs in the middle of the room, I moved in my normal break-neck speed, towards the door.  In only a couple of steps, I was reminded about the Banana Chairs, as I tripped on the first one an' tried to recover my balance.  The second chair was strategically placed so's I was not able to correct my fall.  Instead, I went flying face first, into our huge oak rocking chair.  I'm sure the whole thing din't take longer than a couple of seconds, but those were the looongest couple seconds I've ever lived through.  The noise was enough to wake the dead... I thought.

     Evidently, the Living sleep more deeply than do the dead.  When I had landed, I found myself several inches from our plastic mat in front of the door, lying on my back, with my arm draped across my face.  It must have been a very comical sight, but I wasn't thinkin' 'bout that.  Instead, I was wonderin' where everybody was.  Curiously, no one had come to my aid.  So, I waited.  An' waited an' waited.

     Finally, I realized that some encouragement was necessary.  I moaned quietly; then, waited again.  Nuthin' happened.  'Hey, people!  Someone could be dying out here!  Don'tcha' care?'

     I did the only thing I could think of; I moaned some more, this time, making sure that someone would hear me.  Sure enough, my good hubby-buddy soon poked his head into the room.  I couln't see him, of course, 'cause it was so dark.  But I could hear 'im.  He turned the light on from a third switch an' walked towards me, all the while askin' if I was alright.  When he got close enough, he took my hand... the same one attached to the arm across my face... an' started to help me up.

     Very quickly, he dropped my arm back onto my face, sayin', "Oh, good grief, Yaya.  You're all blood an' guts, everywhere."  Then, he left the room.

     'Well, that's a fine how-do-you-do,' I thought to myself.  The comment about blood an' guts had gotten my attention, though.  I carefully scooted myself towards the plastic mat.  "Scoot!  Scoot!  Scoot!"  An' before I could form any more thoughts, he was back with the medicine kit.  My hero.

     I was soon as good as new, if you don't count the goose-egg that now perched between my eyes.  Oh, yeah; an' my new Raccoon statement.  Both eyes had reacted to the force of my fall against solid oak an' I wore a mask of two very black eyes.  Someday, I 'll tell you 'bout the interesting reaction I got at work, that night.  But that's a story for another day.

     Until the next time, keep a hug on.

 ~ Yaya


Nezzy said...

Oh you poor thing. I had to laugh because this sounds so much like me. Heeehehehe!

God bless ya and have yourself a glorious day sweetie!!!

K9friend said...

Christmas will be here before we know it. I really should start some planning!


Yaya' s Home said...

Hi Nezzy,
Yes, when I think about it, I hafta' laugh, too. My eyes stayed black for weeks, too. But that was jus' to taunt me, I think. LOL

~ Yaya

Yaya' s Home said...

Ooh! Ya' know, Pat, you're right. I dunno' 'bout you, but even though it seems to come 'round at about the same time, every year, I'm never ready; how 'bout you?

~ Yaya

Anonymous said...

Sounds like me when I broke my foot at 1 am. What did I do first???? I knew I broke something... I couldn't put my foot down & the swelling was fast. First I hobbled to get my teeth out of the cup 'cause I knew I would have to got to the ER & I sure wasn't about to go with no teeth!! LOL!! ROFLMBO!! LOL!!
Have a Great Week!

Josh Healy said...

Hi, hope it's OK to contact you here. We would love to include your blog on our giveaway search engine: Giveaway Scout ( Have a look and if interested, use our online form to add your blog ( ). thanks, Josh

Blissitydoodah said...

I'm not laffin'. That HURT! The reason I know night putting my boy to bed in the dark I thought I saw our cat and reached down to scoop him was a hard plastic chair that whacked me hard straight across the face. I had a black eye for weeks.

Nancy said...

What a're a very good story teller...keep them coming..

Thanks so much for dropping by my blog yesterday. I have had fun visiting with you.....

WhisperingWriter said...


I'm also a fan of Christmas.

Connie Lou said...

OMG! What is up with our balance thing? Too funny...not! We just go forward doing and challenging things that could "throw us off balance!". Thank you for this story and your "heart"


Yaya' s Home said...

You really made me laugh. I had visions of you an' me as Lucy an' Ethel. Who d' you wanna' be?

Thanks for the offer. I can't seem to figure out what I'm doin' when I have giveaways, so I think I'll wait on that offer. Thank you.

You know, Phyllis, I jus' think that's rude the way furniture jus' comes up an' hits us in the face like that. I grimace when I read what you wrote.

Thank you, Nancy. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I kinda' use my blog as a place to record all the many things I've experienced. When my great-great grandies read summa' the things I've written, they'll pro'lly choose to be linked to another family line entirely. LOL

Hi WW. Its nice to know we're both agreed on Christmas bein' the best. I thoroughly enjoy myself durin' the Christmas season... clutter an' all.

Connie Lou, do you have that pro'lem, too? I'm sorry. It jus' seems that I cannot keep things from jumpin' up an' smackin' me in the face or shin or somewher else, ya' know? Its really annoying. An' painful.

~ Yaya

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